If you’re looking for a resounding ‘yes you should write your own vows!’ or ‘no, you shouldn’t write your own vows!’ … I’m afraid you’re not going to find it here.
What vows and promises you choose to make to each other as you commit to marriage is hugely personal. What will fit perfectly for one couple, will miss the point entirely for another couple.
When it comes to your vows options (in the widest possible terms) you have 3 or 4 options (I still really can’t decide whether that last option is one or two options)
- Write your own. I could write a whole blog entry on this alone. But I’m not going to because someone has already done a beautiful job. This is the article I suggest all my couples considering writing their own vows read, www.offbeatbride.com/how-to-write-your-wedding-vows
- Choose some existing vows that cover the big picture things and write your own special promises to each other that are more personal to your relationship. My sister and her husband did this at their wedding, and it was super cool.
- Choose existing vows. When I say existing vows, I don’t mean you’re limited to the ‘in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer’ ones that are in every Hollywood wedding scene. Not that I mean to insult those vows – we used them at our wedding (minus the obey part, I’m too much of a feminist for that!) I have about 6 vows options myself, you could spend half a day going through the pages google brings up when you search ‘wedding vows’ and still not be anywhere near done. Even if you choose to use existing vows, you will definitely be able to finds ones that suit your personalities.
- And option four. I’m going to run with calling it an option. Whether you write them yourself or choose existing vows you can make those vows in one of three ways.
- I will print them on an elegant card to hand you to read from when it’s time to make your vows to each other.
- I will break them down line by line, and you repeat each line after me.
- I word it as a series of questions. And at the end of all the questions all you have to say is ‘I do’ or ‘I will’.
Any closer to deciding whether you’ll write your own vows or not? Whatever you decide, make sure it’s something you’re both comfortable with. Congratulations and happy planning xx