When it comes to getting engaged and getting married there are some things you NEED and some things it just seems like you need.
When it comes to getting engaged you NEED to agree that you both want to get married. That’s it. You’re allowed to choose not to have an engagement ring. You’re allowed to choose to have a non-traditional engagement ring. You’re allowed to choose to have a traditional engagement ring.
I have a beautiful engagement ring. It’s sterling silver (because I’m allergic to just about everything else) its stone is an amethyst (which is my birth stone and means a great deal to me). That’s it, and I love it. I wouldn’t trade it in for all the diamonds in the world. We were 21 when we got engaged, and not in a financial position to buy a diamond. So this ring symbolises to me who we were then, who we are now, and the relationship with my husband I cherish very much.
When it comes to getting married you NEED, two willing partners, a registered celebrant, a marriage licence and two witnesses. Everything else from there is a choice. You’re allowed to choose to have a traditional wedding with a gorgeous dress, lots of guests and a big cake – to a greater or lesser extent we did. But you’re also allowed to choose to get married in your favourite jeans and t-shirt in the back paddock of the farm. Or to invite just your close family to a lakeside wedding. Or to take all those guests to your favourite camping spot for the weekend.
It’s okay to want the big wedding – of course it is, it’s your wedding day, you only plan to have one of them. (Although I do have a beautiful renewal of vows ceremony). But whether by choice or because of financial constraints it’s also okay to downsize it a bit. To choose the hall rather than the reception venue. To not give favours. To have a potluck reception dinner. To get married at 8am and shout your guests a tasty 10am breakfast (always cheaper than dinner).
While it is helpful to have a template for what a wedding looks like… my biggest piece of advice when planning your wedding (and this is as a one time bride, rather than a celebrant) is remember that this is a big party celebrating your relationship and your commitment to each other. If you were celebrating anything else as a couple, how would you celebrate it? Not just in terms of money spent, but how many people would you celebrate with? What would the vibe of the day be? How high would your heels be?
Whatever your wedding looks like, however you choose to celebrate… I wish you the very best for your planning.
If you’re looking to get married in South Canterbury/ Mt Cook/ the Mackenzie Country/ North Otago, I’d love to hear from you. Give me a call on 027 384 7886, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/marriagecelebranthannahlind